I left my bubble today...

I left my bubble today.... not by choice but necessity.

You see I’ve had Crohn’s disease since I was 9 years old, and I’m pretty healthy but have taken immunosuppressive medication for this for a number of years. This medicine that keeps my disease in check is the very thing that puts me in the group “High Risk” for contracting CONVID19.

As a mom I pride myself on being bionic. To make the impossible happen, to fight to keep everyone healthy and happy, to be fearlessly Brave in the face of monsters! But... in this instance I am unwillingly lumped in a category of risk I can’t prevent. One that puts my family at risk too. So we stay home! Simple! We order groceries delivered and wipe off everything! We don’t socialize in person and make our own adventures at home- minimal risk maximum control. We are having lots of fun too.

Today I had to leave my bubble, it was mostly out of my control. On my doctors’ advice and my own common sense, I cannot allow my Crohn’s to flare up without medication. And unfortunately this medication can only be given via a 2 hour+ IV drip.

I honestly have been dreading this day since the lock downs started in our state. It’s really the only thing I have to go out for and it is to a medical facility for a few hours at that.

So I did my very best preparations. I spoke with my doctor on options, I called the infusion center regarding procedure, I even chose a new location to get my medication that allowed less social interaction getting to the office and that I could reserve a private room to be in, as opposed to a chair in a room full of other patients.
I got prepared too, with a washable tote, brought my own Clorox wipes for my chair and hand sanitizer to use the entire time. I wore a glove going into and out of the office too.

I still remember feeling my heart pumping in my chest as I stood in the waiting room. People in masks, a CONVID testing tent outside the building. I always have model blood pressure, but it spiked today alarming the kind nurses who gently assured me it was anxiety. I sat and waited as I received my medication. I tried not to touch anything or my face. Hours passed and I sat in the tiny room with

an IV trying to be calm, wishing I was home.


And then I was done. The nurse undid my IV, I grabbed my bag and gloved up. Out the door, down the stairway alone, and outside! I ditched my glove in a garbage can and felt the sun on my face. I must’ve sanitized my hands 20 times as I walked in the fresh air to my car.

With no one around I took a few deep breaths of fresh air in the parking lot and just began to cry. A release I suppose of all that worry. Grief for how it used to be.


I used to almost like getting my infusion. I’d load my iPad with a show, grab a Starbucks venti flat white and croissant, sit and chill for a few hours and go home. I never worried about getting sick, it was just what I did to stay healthy.

Perhaps I was grieving for all that and all the other that was so effortlessly easy and taken for granted. Perhaps my fear got the better of me in a moment, as I was brave and I did leave my bubble to do what was best, but I didn’t like it.

I got home and quickly ditched my clothes and showered before receiving warm hugs from my kids. I felt relief and no more fear. We are home, safe and well.

So that’s my piece. I just needed to get this out there. My story is not one of great bravery this time but more of appreciation for those who do leave their bubble every day to help. Doctors, nurses, delivery people, grocers, policemen, firemen too. Truck drivers and train crews. I will hug my kids extra tight as I know you want to do yours. If staying home is all you need me to do to help, I will gladly do it!

Stay home. Stay healthy . Be Brave