To my sister-in-law days after Christmas....

I’ve been where you are. I’ve been the daughter-in-law at Christmas time, and I’ve watched slightly uncontrollably as everyone else celebrated knowing exactly what was going on because they’ve done it years before. I’ve worried about my kids and them getting rest and eating on time, having good snacks and behaving amongst all other cousins and adults they sorta know. I’ve fed my kids food from home at meals lovingly made by my mother-in-law, and eaten very little myself because I was too nervous or busy to do otherwise. I’ve snapped and retreated when it got too much. I’ve watched as my mother-in-law gave the cousins perfectly choreographed gifts conspired by her and my sister-in-law and the kids jumped with joy but my kid got nice gifts selected without asking me. I watched my sister-in-law walk about her childhood home comfortable and calm as if it was her own and I felt small and out of place at times .... I’ve been there.

Yet when the tables were turned this Christmas and I was the daughter at my moms house and my kids were feeling like there 2nd home Christmas was too awesome for words I failed you. I failed to see my past self in your situation. I failed to pull empathy and courage to comfort and include you more. I’m sorry. I hope I’ll do better next time- I hope you realize you are family, your family matters and we have all been there. Hindsight is bitter sweet.